The Clock Keeps Ticking
What happens when you have to keep going?
Self-disciplined is a space in where I share my philosophy on how to attain discipline, gain confidence and efficiency and get your time back to do the things you love doing.
If you are interested on being part of the Self-disciplined community don’t forget to subscribe!
Hello, it’s great to see you around!
Let me start with a question: When was the last time you made a mistake?
For me, I think I just did today. And maybe yesterday too. Yet, I still struggle sometimes with giving myself grace when I make mistakes.
I remember being on my high school basketball team, many years ago (yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm getting older by the day). I used to be the overlord of the bench. There were plenty of kids better than me at the sport. I was chubby and somewhat clumsy — I still am, ask my wife and friends — and while I knew the game, I wasn't the best at playing it. But I loved it, and I kept learning and practicing.
It sounds crazy now, but I desperately wanted to be called onto the court. I wanted to prove I was worth playing a quarter, and maybe 2 out of 10 games, I would actually make it onto the court. It was something.
Looking back, I know what the main problem was. It wasn't that I was slow, chubby, or clumsy — well, maybe a little 🙃, but there were other kids in that category who were being picked before me. No, it was my confidence once I was playing that was holding the team back.
I was a good defender. My coach at the time, Gustavo, taught me really well how to do that. But dribbling? Oh my god. I was very aware of my inability to dribble for too long, so I would get the ball, pass it as soon as I got it, and if I found space to get to the hoop, I would just throw it as fast as I could to prevent somebody from blocking me. Just like that, willy-nilly.
Of course, I wouldn't score. And then I would stay below the hoop, ruminating and cursing because I didn't score. How could I score if I didn't even aim?
This cycle repeated itself every single game for at least a year.
Then, after one game, my coach challenged me. He pulled me to the side and said, "I can't put you in a game if you're going to stand there dwelling while the game continues. The clock keeps ticking."
The clock keeps ticking...
That phrase, for some reason, got stuck in my head. For years. Imagine, right now I'm writing an article about it.
That changed my game.
My coach's words hit hard, but they were true. I couldn't keep complaining while the rest of the team was still trying to secure the game. I needed to stand up, dust off, and continue. The clock keeps ticking.
That sole piece of advice, and the results of following it, changed the course of my game. The next year, I started practicing more, improving my shots and my technique.
My coach began to acknowledge my improvement, and I started being nominated for more and more games.
This boosted my confidence in every aspect of my early life. I was no longer a fixture on the bench, no longer ruminating over mistakes. I was in control.
Not Only Cows Ruminate
Like in my story, we tend to dwell on mistakes — big or small — that we make over the course of our lives. The problem is that these mistakes usually stop us from moving forward, depriving us of experiences that could help us improve our situation.
In fact, there's quite a bit of research indicating that rumination — the tendency to dwell on negative experiences or emotions — can lead to various mental and physical health issues over time.
Studies show that rumination is associated with:
Increased risk of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety.1
Impaired problem-solving skills and decreased motivation.2
Physiological changes like increased heart rate, blood pressure, and cortisol levels3
Potential long-term health risks, including cardiovascular issues and immune system suppression4
Disrupted stress-recovery processes, particularly in work-related contexts5
Had I remained ruminating about my mistakes on the court, there's a chance I wouldn't be telling this story now. Not because I would be dead, but because the consequences of taking action actually led to a series of chained events that brings me to you and to this article.
That being said, I've kept ruminating about other things since then. It's something that comes and goes — no wonder I ended up in therapy back in the day. As someone diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), rumination comes as naturally as blinking. Funny thing though: researching the effects of rumination makes me wonder if rumination led to anxiety, or if I've always been like this.
My parents told me that I've always had an active imagination, and that led to some other issues in my childhood. So I think in my case, my own early-developed anxiety led to a vicious circle of rumination.
I'm not alone in this, though. A study by the American Psychological Association in 2020 found that Gen Z adults (ages 18-23) reported the highest levels of stress and depressive symptoms compared to other generations. To give you an idea, 34% of Gen Z adults reported worse mental health compared to other generations6.
We're living in a world that moves faster, hence the level of pressure and technical bars are higher, and consequently, we feel the responsibility to make fewer mistakes. This is fed by peers falling into the same mindset and setting a higher bar for themselves, perpetuating this cycle of rumination and mental health challenges.
How Discipline Has Helped Me Deal with Over-Dwelling
Now that I've learned about myself, I've tried to help myself by reading, learning, and educating myself about different tools that have definitely helped with my anxiety, my rumination, and in general, my worldview.
Since then, I've made it my goal to become a more disciplined, free person.
Some of the techniques and philosophies that have helped me on my discovery journey are:
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
CBT is a practical, action-oriented approach to mental health. It's based on the idea that our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are interconnected, and by changing one, we can influence the others.
CBT teaches you to identify negative thought patterns, challenge them with evidence, and replace them with more balanced, realistic thoughts. It's not about positive thinking; it's about accurate thinking. CBT gives you concrete tools to break the cycle of rumination and take control of your mental state.
Stoicism
Stoicism is an ancient philosophy that's surprisingly relevant in today's high-pressure world. It teaches that while we can't control external events, we have full control over our reactions to them. Stoicism emphasizes focusing on what's within our power and accepting what isn't. It's not about suppressing emotions, but about responding to situations rationally rather than reactively.
Stoic practices include negative visualization (imagining worst-case scenarios to appreciate what you have) and voluntary discomfort (intentionally facing challenges to build resilience). It's a practical philosophy for maintaining mental equilibrium in turbulent times.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment, deliberately and without judgment. It's about observing your thoughts and feelings as they arise, without getting caught up in them. Mindfulness isn't about emptying your mind or achieving a state of calm (though that can be a byproduct). It's about developing awareness of your mental processes.
Regular mindfulness practice can help you catch yourself when you start to ruminate, giving you the opportunity to redirect your attention. It's a skill that takes practice, but it can be a powerful tool for managing stress and improving focus in high-pressure situations.
You don't need to dive too deep into these concepts to help yourself ruminate less. The key is to find practical techniques that work for you and integrate them into your daily life. Let's explore some effective strategies to diminish — not eliminate — your inner, ruminating voice.
How to Diminish Rumination
Conquering rumination isn't about eliminating thoughts entirely—it's about managing them effectively. The following techniques are practical tools you can use in your daily life to reduce the impact of rumination. They're designed to be flexible and adaptable, fitting into the busy schedules of young professionals striving for self-improvement. Remember, the goal is progress, not perfection. Let's dive into these strategies:
Mindfulness Meditation: Focus on the present moment to interrupt rumination cycles. Even brief sessions can recalibrate your mind when time is short.
CBT Techniques: Identify and challenge negative thought patterns. It's about creating mental checks and balances using evidence-based thinking.
Expressive Writing: Set a timer and write out your thoughts. It's a quick way to process and release mental clutter, particularly effective during short breaks in high-pressure situations.
Physical Exercise: Engage in brief physical activity to shift both mind and body states. Even a short walk or a few minutes of stretching can break rumination patterns.
Self-Distancing: Analyze your situation from a third-person perspective to provide a more objective viewpoint and reduce emotional reactivity.
Problem-Solving Approach: Transform rumination into actionable steps. Break down issues into manageable tasks and focus on solutions rather than problems.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Principles: Accept thoughts without judgment, then commit to value-aligned actions. This approach can be particularly useful when you can't change the stressful situation itself.
Scheduled Worry Time: Allocate specific time for worrying. Outside this time, postpone rumination. This technique helps contain unproductive thoughts and maintain focus during critical periods.
Getting philosophical, the "Shoot the arrow" mindset has helped me in these situations. It's about focusing on the action at hand rather than dwelling on potential outcomes.
Challenging Your Inner Voice
As I said before, I still make mistakes. Many of them. One of the main learnings in my development is that nobody is exempt from making mistakes. That realization alone helped me tame my inner voice to be less critical, but the toolset I acquired through the years — and that I now share with you — has helped me to fail, stand up, dust off, reflect, and keep moving, so I can learn from the mistakes but not beat myself up over them.
There will always be people who will try to keep track of your mistakes or failures, and that's fine. That list of mistakes is proof that you've kept moving forward and haven't stopped under the hoop.
Just make sure you learn from your mistakes, and even if you commit a fairly similar mistake next time, ensure that at least you did something different this time.
Remember, the clock keeps ticking. Don't let rumination stop you from playing your best game in life. Embrace discipline, learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward. That's how we grow, that's how we improve, and that's how we ultimately succeed.
Have a wonderful week!
Nolen-Hoeksema, S., Wisco, B. E., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2008). Rethinking Rumination. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 3(5), 400-424. [PDF]
Lyubomirsky, S., Tucker, K. L., Caldwell, N. D., & Berg, K. (1999). Why ruminators are poor problem solvers: Clues from the phenomenology of dysphoric rumination. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 77(5), 1041-1060.
Ottaviani, C., Thayer, J. F., Verkuil, B., Lonigro, A., Medea, B., Couyoumdjian, A., & Brosschot, J. F. (2016). Physiological concomitants of perseverative cognition: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 142(3), 231-259.
Brosschot, J. F., Gerin, W., & Thayer, J. F. (2006). The perseverative cognition hypothesis: A review of worry, prolonged stress-related physiological activation, and health. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 60(2), 113-124.
Cropley, M., Rydstedt, L. W., Devereux, J. J., & Middleton, B. (2015). The relationship between work-related rumination and evening and morning salivary cortisol secretion. Stress and Health, 31(2), 150-157. [PDF]
Stress in Americaâ„¢ 2020 - https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2020/report-october